Hard day

So, it has been a bad day. Just an all around crappy one. Let's review:

I have to wake up early today. Landon had therapy at 11 and to make sure it got a decent amount of time in at school before I had to pick him up, he had to get up and get there earlier then usual. He was not happy. He gave me attitude about getting him up. He wouldn't drink his yogurt drink because he was coughing and wanted water. Never mind the fact that he needed that drink because it had his medicine in it to help him go to the bathroom, his stomach has been so bloated his pants won't button. (Just another lovely side effect of autism.) So I dump it out and get him water. He won't eat his breakfast because his nose is stuffy. So he is crying which makes it worse. So I dump it all in a bag and tell him he can just eat it at school.

He doesn't want to get dressed; he wants to look at the cats outside. So I am trying to get him dressed, brush his teeth and get all his stuff together. On the way to school, he starts complaining his stomach is hurting. We get to school and he flips out. I was completely caught off guard. He was okay last week. He wasn't thrilled, but he never cried. Well he did today. He cried and threw himself at me and clung to me. He refused to let me walk out the door. I didn't know what to do! I tried reasoning with him and telling him he wouldn't be there long today. He didn't care. He kept saying his stomach was still hurting so I asked him if he wanted me to go home and get some medicine. He said yes. So I drove all the way back home and got it and came back. He was eating breakfast. As soon as he saw me he got upset. I gave him some medicine and tried to soothe him. He kept complaining it was still hurting. I told him to give it a chance to work. He didn't want to and started becoming really agitated. The teacher finally came over and distracted him by asking him to play with her. I slipped out, feeling like a failure. 

I got back and got Halle up, fed her breakfast. By the time I got back home my whole plan of having him stay and get some school time in was shot to hell; he only had a little over an hour before I had to go back and get him. I took a shower, got dressed, got Halle ready and their things together. I picked Landon up, who informed me he was feeling better. We hauled ass to make it to therapy, while getting behind every slow person in the world. He enjoyed therapy at least. Although in the car, and the rest of the day, he and Halle have been at each others throats and have been obnoxious to me as well! Lunch went well, until Landon started complaining about his stomach hurting again. Halle wouldn't nap, but at least Landon did. It is all cold and rainy today. I want to crawl in the bed and shut out the world. No one is listening today, well more then usual. The only consolation I have is that it is a short week. Then I get to go through all of this again after him being out of school for so long, and Halle starting school... fun times.

This week

It has been a crazy past few days... we finally had Landon's IEP meeting Friday and they told us he would start school Monday (yesterday). I was nervous all weekend, for me and for him. Monday I took him and stayed with him for about 30 minutes. He seemed apprehensive about me leaving, but didn't cry. I did though, as soon as I got to the car. I pulled it together, other then just feeling gloomy all day. He didn't go all day because he had therapy at noon, so I think it was a nice way to ease him in. They said he did well. I figured he would, I was only gone around 3 hours. I was more worried about today when he would be there all day. And today was rough. Not as bad as yesterday, frankly I didn't have time to be upset. I had to do the usual and get up and dressed and get them both up, so we were running out the door 5 minutes before we were supposed to be there; good thing we live so close! He was still a little scared I think, he wanted to know exactly where I was going and when I was going to be back... but he walked off and started to play.

Halle and I had a good time at our play date. It was nice to be able to concentrate on her and not have to worry about Landon getting upset or overstimulated by the other kids. We made Mickey Mouse ears. :) And of course, ate lots of food! I think she misses Landon; she is always happy to see him. I am still waiting on the director of her possible preschool to call. She called when I was at our play date and I didn't get any reception. I called back but she was gone. She said on the message that they only had 2 day spots open. I was kind of disappointed about that but it is better then nothing. I can always get her into a 3 or 5 day spot for next year. 

I picked Landon up today and they said nap time was a bit of a problem. I knew it would be, he is used to sleeping alone in his room. She said he was upset about it and he told me about it too. The assistant stayed with him until he fell asleep. I am sure it will just take some getting used to. The only thing that bugged me was when I got in the car and realized they got his food all over his clothes. He even still had ground up food on the seat of his pants where he had sat and squished it in and no one had bothered to wipe it off. It was all over the place. I don't think they used the bib we sent, that is what catches all the food. So I am going to say something tomorrow. Don't want to sound like super bitch, but that was spaghetti sauce, I don't want all of his clothes ruined. I got them home and put some spray and wash on them so I think they are ok. But still...

Well enough for today!

Big changes ahead

We went for our testing last week. I am happy to say Landon did great! He rarely had to be around the lady who upset him so bad and when he was he did okay. But he was very cooperative and passed his vision and hearing tests. The speech therapist said that he will need some therapy, with answering questions the right way instead of repeating the phrase and also with pragmatic language, she thinks he has the language of a 3 year old. But is confident by kindergarten he will be caught up. They won't be able to accept him there because he is more advanced then the kids that go there, so they are going to put him in another place that has half "normal" kids and half mild to moderate special needs kids. It is much closer to our house, which is good. 

We went and took a tour today. It seemed nice; and everyone there was pleasant, the kids looked happy. The only thing I am apprehensive about is that it is so long, from 7:30 to 2:30, 5 days a week. That is a big change for us. I know he needs it, but I am still worried. :( And I will miss him sooooo much. She offered to see if there was a spot for Halle, but that is a lot of money a week. I would love to get a job to pay for it, but I just don't know of a place that will let me have that kind of hours and I have no one to watch them on their breaks or when they are sick. So I don't know what to do. I guess I will have to keep her at home for now until I can figure something else out. I am so bummed, I would love to let her go to preschool, I think she would love it, once she got over me leaving her!

I went to an autism workshop yesterday; it was very informative. It was mainly centered around getting autistic children to play with others, starting with their parents. Also showing them the "correct" way to play with things since their brains can't figure it out, they show sequences and breaking things down to where they can understand them, things that come easily for other kids. I also met a lot of other great people attending for their students, children, grandchildren. It felt great being around people I could identify with and knew what I was going through. 

Well, Landon's IEP meeting set up for next week, so we will know more after that; when he will get to start preschool and how kindergarten will go. Will update more then; off to autistic family therapy!

Hump Day

It's Wednesday; that means the week is almost over. Therapy was good today; he had Ms. Anna, who I think he may be just a little bit in love with. :) She is an OT student. He does very well with her though, made something else, and got sticky with some glue and glitter, which is hard for him to touch. He wanted it off when we got home, but that was a whole 30 minutes of still having it on, she considered it progress... he also walked on the balance beam all by himself eventually. The pattern we find is he is really hesitant to do things, but give him some time and he eventually does it. He just works at his own pace. 

We go for his testing Friday; I HOPE it goes well, after what happened with that woman when we went last week, I am afraid. But he is having a good week, so hopefully everything will work out! Halle is still feeling better, I am thinking it was her teeth, so hopefully he will not get sick, and we won't have to cancel, I was worried about that!

I am so excited, Monday I am going to an autism workshop, and it is actually free from the autism society of NC. My mom and grandma are going to switch off on watching the kids, and while I think Halle will have a hard time, I am hoping she will manage to get through the day. 

Been a while

Sorry it's been a while. We have had a lot going on! Therapy has been going well, the only thing that bugs me is he has someone new almost every time and it throws him. He eventually adjusts and it is all people that he has had in the past and I know they can't help it, but still... He is a bit agitated more because he is in there at the same time another severely autistic child is getting listening therapy and he hates putting on his ear phones, so he screams bloody murder. I know he can't help it, but it is loud, I can hear him all the way up front, I can't imagine how Landon feels being closer to him. I am sure it makes it hard for him to concentrate. Hopefully his loop will be over soon and he can get a break from all the screaming. I have no doubt when it is his turn for that, he will be doing the same thing!

I met with the director of the exceptional children's preschool too. She was very nice and we got to see the classroom he could be in. His testing his scheduled for Friday. After that they will develop an IEP for him, which will show how he learns best and he might be able to start class soon. She thinks his would probably be in the afternoon for a couple of hours. They have one main teacher and 2 assistants. I don't know what happened, I am sure that it wasn't meant to be taken wrong, but it is me, so I did take it wrong: when we were in her office Landon plugged in a fan and she jumped on him about it  before I could say anything to him. I thought it was inappropriate that she do that when his parent was right there and she was too harsh for such a little thing. Not that I think he needs to get away with murder, because he doesn't at home, but like I said, I should have handled it. She only knew him for about 10 minutes before that, she didn't know how to approach him or to treat him, he doesn't need that much sternness, she hurt his feelings with her tone and he was in tears. I tried to explain it to him and reassure him, but he didn't care, he wanted to leave. I am worried, because of the fact that he forgets nothing, that when we have to go back for testing, he will become upset because that is all he is going to remember, and that he won't test well and it will affect everything because she will be there and all he remembers is she yelled at him. I don't want to start off on the wrong foot with these people; and have Landon suffer for it because they are under the assumption that I am just a bitch and stop listening to me, but I was really bothered by that. I don't think she is a mean person and it wasn't meant to by hateful, but he is not a regular child, he can't be treated like one. 

We also met with a family therapist who is supposed to help us deal with all of this, the kids included. I think it will be good for us, although she is a little dry to be a therapist who deals with kids... I think I just wasn't liking anyone this week! Maybe next week will be better... I don't want to be known as impossible, but this is so important, these first steps we are taking affect him and us more then I can say. I don't want to be responsible for ruining his life or delay him because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. He is my first priority, always.

We went back to our play groups this week. It is the first time scheduling has allowed us to go; that and with people being sick. Landon still had a hard time; he doesn't do well with younger kids crying. I don't know what to do in those situations, I feel guilty, like I am putting everyone at unease. I don't want people to dread when we come and I have honestly thought about just quitting. But Halle needs it so much. She is not in preschool and needs to be around other kids. She loves to go. I wish there were 2 of me! 

Speaking of Halle, she has been going to the potty! All of a sudden last week she started pulling down her pants and saying she needed to go. She has been going every day for a week now. Not every time, but at least once or twice a day. I am so proud of her and she is proud of herself. :)

I spoke with a woman who has an autistic son and she is amazing. She has been so helpful, supportive and understanding with everything. It is good to talk to someone who knows how I am feeling and has been where I have been. I felt so much better after I talked to her and she gave me a lot of things to try with Landon that has helped her son. And I graduated with her other son, it is a small world. :) 

Mondays ugh.

   I am not a big Monday fan... and today was no exception. I woke up late of course, so I had to rush and rush to get the kids up. Landon is not a morning fan either, so it was difficult getting him up and moving. I probably would have been on time despite everything except for when I came into the living room this morning my cat had destroyed so much stuff, I couldn't believe it. It took everything I had not to beat the living daylights out of him, and I love animals... 

   

   He had tipped over my vase on the table and chewed and pushed my fall flowers into the floor. They were fake so they went everywhere. He had pushed our pumpkin decorations off into the floor and chewed on those. But the kicker was that because Steve had left his water glass on the counter (even though I tell him all the time not to), he knocked it over and water got everywhere. All over the counter, in the floor, soaking everything, including my phone. So it wasn't working. So I cleaned all this up and got the kids out the door. I got to Steve's work at 10:55, we had to be at therapy at 11.

   I left my phone with Steve and told him to fix it, which he did. I was able to compose myself at therapy, the quiet time helped, but I got half way home and realized I had left my book there, so I had to turn around and get that. Not to mention when I got home the kids decided to argue and fight over everything. I have a terrible headache today too! And of course, they are still sick, so I am still cleaning up snot and getting onto Landon about running around, he will cough himself into a vomit spell. Anyway, end of rant!

   Therapy went well today, I asked him to keep it low key because I didn't want Landon getting too hot so he wouldn't cough. So they made a craft and took it easy. I am going to get into with Teacch as his therapist suggested, it is 6 months to a year waiting list, so I have to get on now. I am glad we got to back today since he missed it last week, I just wish they would get over this stupid cold already! Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Friday?

   It is Friday, although it feels like the middle of the week, and it has been a loooong never ending week. The kids are sick this week, have been all week, so I am walking around like a zombie. Halle starting throwing up at 3 in the morning on Sunday, of course in the middle of night, why can't it ever be in the day? So I was up all night with her. My mom took Landon to therapy that day while I stayed home with her. Her vomiting turned into a cold, drainage sometimes makes her sick. So she started getting a runny nose and fever. So I was taking care of her waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak, for Landon to get it. Which he did on Tuesday. He started throwing up that evening and continued all night long. He always gets things worse, so he was much more sick then she was, and instead of throwing up every once in a while, it was constant, so I was up all night with him. He finally stopped in the morning, just in time for me to have to get up with Halle and be dead tired. I got no rest on Monday night, even though she slept ok, because I ended up having to get up early to take Landon to hi pediatrician to discuss his autism. So it was 3 days with little sleep, and I was grumpy! This cold is still holding on, Steve and I both are getting up every night at least a few times with both of them because they are coughing terribly. You would think they would be improving at least some what, but it is not the case. I am hoping they start feeling better soon! At least Steve will be here this weekend to help me.

   Anyhow, we met with the pediatrician Tuesday to fill him in on what was going on. He put some calls in to some therapists in the area who specialize in autistic children and their families. I got a call yesterday from the doctor I guess they picked out, (or the one who takes Medicaid). We have a meeting with her in a couple of weeks, so I am looking forward to that, she seemed nice over the phone. She actually called me herself, and not her staff. I am not so sure how Steve is going to do though, guys aren't much for talking about their feelings, especially when it's admitting fears and such. But we will see how it goes. I am also meeting with the Exceptional Children director of the school district for Landon to see if he qualifies for that. If he does, which I am sure he would, he can possibly go for a little while to a classroom where they have kids like him at, and people would work with him while he was there as well. But I think it would get him used to a school setting. They have to do their own evaluation of him and will set up an IEP, which is for school, to determine how he learns best, like if he needs a smaller classroom, one on one type things, or whatever. So I think we are making all kinds of progress and that makes me happy. We had to miss therapy Wednesday because he was really sick, but I am hoping he is feeling better enough to go back Monday. 

   So that has pretty much been my whole week. No play dates until everyone is better, so it has been hard on all of us being stuck at home all week, the kids are starting to fight with each other and whine all the time, and I am frankly tired of all the whining and just of being here!