We are having a busy week. With the kids both being in school, we are having Christmas parties and programs to go to. I am looking forward to all of it. Tonight we go to Bounceville, tomorrow is Halle's party, and her Christmas program is Friday. I don't know how she will do... Landon's is Friday as well. 

But this week has been hard as well. A time that should be happy is not for everyone. Erika's niece died Thursday. We went to her visitation last night. That was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.  I have never seen a child in a coffin before. I have never had to tell parents that I was sorry for their child dying at age 9. I saw grown men, who I have never ever hardly see show any emotion, look at her and break down. Kids, her friends, saying goodbye to her as they are sobbing. It just doesn't seem right. It was beautiful though. Everything was pink, her coffin lining, the flowers, her clothes. I am not a spiritual person, a good bit of the time I don't believe in God. Things like this is a reason why. But, as well, it is times like these, I hope with everything that I have that I am wrong. I hope that she is in heaven, that she is happy. That her soul is at peace and isn't just over, just like that. I can't imagine anything worse then burying your child. And having to stand there beside her and talk to people as they tell you how sorry they are, when all you want to do is climb in with her and go wherever it was she went. That is what I would want to do. 

Even with how hard we have things with Landon, I consider us so very lucky. I always have, because losing one of my kids has always been my biggest fear, and I knew I could deal with anything as long as they were still here, living and breathing. So he may have autism and I may be afraid of how his life will be, but at least he is here for me to watch grow up. Katlyn will never get to experience so much, and that makes me so sad. I don't know anything anyone could say or do to make the family feel better. All that helps is time; and even then, as a parent I don't think you ever really forget. You have to keep going for the remaining kids that you left. I hope that their pain does go away. eventually.

Pink is the color of this post, for Katlyn, who has gave me a hard reminder that life is precious, and to cherish my kids as much as humanly possible. She will be missed so very much.